Clearing Closets for Success

Shoes that I have purged from my life!

It’s Spring and I am taking the idea of spring cleaning to a new level this year.  I am on a mission to get rid of everything in my home that doesn’t work in my life anymore.  I began by giving a few household items to Goodwill last month (Did you know they accept electronics whether they are working or not?) and then I edited my closet last week.  I do it for clients all the time but I was overdue for a wardrobe purge.  I have a huge walk-in closet so it was quite an undertaking.  But it’s amazing how easy it was to decide what needed to go.  I hardly even tried anything on.  I went by the notion of – Does this still reflect who I am and how I want to be perceived?  Of course, there’s also the simple guideline of things being out of style (although I defy anyone to try to define the style of the 2010s – every current trend is recycled from a previous decade) but I went deeper than this. 

Clothes hold energy and often it is impossible to separate an item from a time in one’s life.  I found a few previously adored, well-worn pieces and thought “I’m not that person anymore – they need to go.”  I’m also going for more simplicity in my life these days, so I got rid of A LOT.  I’d rather have 5 pairs of pants I really love than 25 I feel so-so about.  And I am no longer holding onto things because of “one day/then I…” thinking.  One day if I become an accountant then I might need these Anne Klein suits from 1995.  Never gonna happen.  I’m horrible at math.  It is all about what works right now.

Organizing clothes in piles on a bed helps to see everything at once.

Here’s my process.  I went through my closet and made piles on my bed of stuff I haven’t worn in a long time.  One was for consignment, one for charity, one maybe (not sure if I’m ready to part with it yet) pile and one these-have-seen-better-days pile.  Right now, I feel a fierceness in my approach to expand my brand, so my wardrobe reflects that.  I am wearing a lot of dark colors with sharp lines and zippers and studs.  I call it the “rock & roll” edge.  That was another guideline I used to decide what needed to go.

I have practiced Feng Shui for many years and have had amazing results from it.  The basic principle is that item placement in specific areas of the home brings about specific results - like love, health and abundance.  Another is if you clear out a space, you make room for something new to occupy that space.  My home is on its way to being a haven of ushering in the immediate future.

{For more about Feng Shui, check out this website: http://www.jennahuntconsulting.com.  Jenna Hunt is my Feng Shui & Astrology consultant and she is wise, compassionate and wonderful.}

5 Tips for Clearing out a Closet:

1. DO it when you are ready – emotionally & physically.
2. DO NOT ever get rid of a piece if you are not 100% sure about.  You will be sad and it will haunt you.  Hence, the maybe pile.  You can revisit that pile at the end.
3. DO pay it forward & get paid.  Consignment is a great way to recycle fashions and get a little money in return, especially if they are designer and/or in great condition.
4. DO be realistic and gentle with yourself, especially if your weight fluctuates or if you have a hard time letting go of things.  Take your time and take breaks.
5. DO ask a friend to help but only if they can be objective.  DO NOT let anyone force their style agenda on you.   

Or… hire me for a Closet Consult and I will make it fun and create a new style for you in the process!     

The A List - Back in Business

As you can see, I haven't blogged here on The A List for almost 2 years.  For a long time, I just didn't want to blog.  I didn't get it, I resisted it, I didn't want to be bothered.  But time heals all foolishness and the spring feels like the perfect time to re-design The A List and blog away!  I am excited to share photos & stories about fashion & style and will do it here asap.  Stay tuned!  

Icon or Hype-con?

OK – I have been holding my tongue about this for a while now, but I can keep quiet no longer . Michelle Obama is NOT a fashion icon! There is a huge difference between being into fashion, like a hobby and being a fashion icon. Diane von Furstenberg is an icon because she solved a major problem for women with her invention of the wrap dress and remains a leader in the industry 40 years later. Gwen Stefani is an icon because she has a distinctive style that doesn’t pander to what’s new and hot and oh, by the way she founded a major fashion label as well.

Mrs. Obama and Jill Biden were on The View yesterday - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/18/michelle-obama-the- view_n_850629.html - and I hated what Michelle was wearing. A light beige v-neck, long sleeved sweater with a white satin pleated skirt complete with large turquoise (yes I said TURQUOISE!) earrings that were pulling her earlobes down drastically. White and off-white together is one of my personal fashion no-no’s. Also – her bare legs were crossed and one was gleaming so much (lotion? oil?) that it was distracting. What message was this outfit trying to convey?

And why is Mrs. Obama considered a fashion icon anyway? She has gotten it wrong so many times. The black and red Narciso Rodriguez dress from election night was completely inappropriate on her body and for the occasion and she seemed totally uncomfortable in the white gown from the inaugural ball. I appreciate that she supports low price point fashion companies like J. Crew and up-and-coming designers like Jason Wu but does this make her an icon? It really irks me that the first lady and Dr. Biden were talking about military families on the show and the story is on the Style section of the Huffington Post. Wouldn’t it be more fitting in the Politics section?

Talk about confusing the messenger and the message…

Oprah & Iyanla Reunion - Too Little Too Late?

Oprah is cleaning house in her final season – and I cannot get enough. I was up until 3am last night watching this Wednesday’s show on my DVR, captivated. In 1998 and 1999, Oprah showcased Iyanla Vanzant, an extraordinary relationship coach who cut through all of people’s BS and called it as she saw it. Iyanla was a breath of fresh air and became a huge hit and a hot commodity. http://www.innervisionsworldwide.com/

There had been talk with Harpo Productions about giving Iyanla her own show in the future. Then, Barbara Walters approached her about doing a show. Here’s where it all went wrong: Iyanla had a meeting with Oprah and her executive producer which resulted in some misconceptions. Oprah thought Iyanla was giving them an ultimatum and Iyanla did not realize just how much Oprah valued her. As a result, Harpo dropped Iyanla and she and Oprah did not talk for 11 years. Talk about an “aha!” moment!

Well, this week they got it all aired out – on national TV – and all is forgiven. http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Iyanla-Vanzant-Returns-to-The-Oprah-Show
How amazing though that one conversation changed the course of an amazing person’s career. Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, Dr.Oz and Rachael Ray all have long running shows produced by Harpo and Iyanla Vanzant is far from a household name.

Success is an ethereal mistress. Some people struggle their entire lives for it and it comes effortlessly to others. What is really unbelievable to me is ho it can be totally fleeting. One moment everyone wants you and the next no one does… I watched Iyanla on Oprah and the way she re-languaged our thoughts and feelings had a lasting effect on me. I still quote her until this day. “Don’t say your broke. Say you’re temporarily out of cash.” She was so confident in her delivery as a coach, it was startling to hear that she was totally oblivious about how to handle herself in a business negotiation.

Image really is everything because I didn’t think this woman had an insecure bone in her body. And this is a great example that what people do is not who they are. Iyanla let her past abuse and negative self-worth dictate the course of her future. And she remained frightened to call Oprah for 11 years. First impressions are indelible but so are last experiences, if you let them be. One credo that I live by is to always be “complete” in relationships. Say all that you need to say and don’t take anything for granted with communication. Life is so fragile and I don’t want to have regrets.

What I’m curious about now is what’s next for Oprah and Iyanla. Will Oprah offer Iyanla a show on the new OWN network? Or has Iyanla moved past wanting one? I was on the edge of my seat for the whole hour – and then I saw the coming attractions for Part 2 with Iyanla – this Wednesday… I can’t wait…

When the going gets tough, the tough shop for bathroom tile…

On this week’s Grey’s Anatomy, in the wake of Cristina Yang quitting her residency, her colleagues strategize about how to change her mind. They are so passionate about getting her back that they plan an intervention. Meanwhile, Yang doesn’t want to talk about her career and revels in the simplicity of sitting on a bench eating a pretzel at the mall. Only one person, Dr. Shepherd, understands what she truly needs and heads off the other doctors’ advances. The episode ends with Mc Dreamy and Yang discussing whether to refinish the hardwood floors in her new apartment.

Life is multi-faceted and challenging and a lot of the time, we need to buckle down and do what we need to do. But there are other times when we need to give ourselves a break and stay in our pajamas all day, buy a pretty dress or pick out new bathroom tile. These seemingly frivolous acts can be the key to what’s next for us. Just letting go of figuring it all out creates the space for unanticipated input and opportunity. I am also a firm believer in the fact that action begets more action. ANY action, even window shopping, can be very powerful. You never know what might happen.

Yesterday I went for a long walk by the water with a friend. The original goal was to get lattes and some sun, but we each got a whole lot more. He got solace about a recent breakup and I got major clarity on my purpose in life. Hence, this is my first blog posting in months. I’ve been struggling with this idea of blogging for ages but now I finally know what I want this blog to be – an online journal of personal epiphanies, insights and philosophies. My intention is for these postings to cause discussion and ideally, impact the lives of my readers. Now, I’m still going to bitch about people dressing like slobs on the street and comment on events in the worlds of fashion, entertainment and politics. I'm just adding this new focus to the mix.

So – did this little tale make a difference for you? What do you think about this new and improved approach to my blog? Email me – I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Hollywood Timing Rules!

The biggest celebrity news of the past month has been America’s Sweetheart being cheated on and a Latin heartthrob who we haven’t heard much from in a while publically coming out of the closet. And it made me wonder about the timing of these events…

When I watched the Oscars, Sandra Bullock seemed a bit too composed for someone winning her first Academy Award. Especially because before The Blind Side, no one ever expected her to win for her body of romantic comedies, which the Academy does not usually reward. All I could think of was Halle Berry visibly shaking and crying uncontrollably. But not Sandra… She was cool, articulate and even wry in her comments about Meryl Streep being her lover. Then, two weeks later, the story came out about her husband Jesse James cheating on her over the past year.

Hollywood is a well-oiled public relations machine and celebrities have teams of people being paid exorbitantly to advise them. When it comes to the media getting a story, there are no accidents. I believe that Bullock knew about her husband’s philandering long before the story hit Extra and CNN but her “people” chose to wait until after the Oscars to release it so as not to endanger her pretty much shoe-in but there’s always the possibility of an upset chances at Oscar glory. Did you ever notice that during January and February there is tons of hype about who will win the major categories at the Golden Globes and Oscars and then about 6 months later it’s hard to remember who won Best Actress? After the immense outpouring of sympathy Sandy has received, no one will forget who won in 2009.

Even more curious is the story this week about Nicolette Sheridan accusing Mark Cherry (creator of Desperate Housewives) of assault and suing him for wrongful termination http://tinyurl.com/yd3zffm. Her character was killed off last season, so it’s been over a year. Why is she suing him now? Does she have a new Lifetime movie of the week coming out?

The bottom line is, like the old adage says, Image is Everything.

In terms of Ricky Martin declaring “I’m a fortunate homosexual man” http://tinyurl.com/yjxu2f4 (after eschewing the subject with Barbara Walters a few years ago) – again I wondered, “Why now?” I have to say for the record that I am totally happy for him. My work is all about helping my clients find their authentic expression through image work and I’m all about EVERYONE living their truth. I have many gay friends, family and clients and have heard countless coming out stories and the common thread is it’s usually not planned. Everyone’s on their own journey. So, for Martin it could just be “his time” but I’m still dubious. There was a deluge of comments on facebook last week – he’s right, he’s wrong, it’s shocking news, it’s not surprising, finally, etc… There are many facets of the crystal on this subject but I hope if it is a strategic move that it brings him only peace, joy and many more fans.

MEN! Making a Statement

I was at a few events downtown this week and I couldn’t help noticing a great number of fashion train wrecks on the women in attendance. But as I was critiquing the femme fashion felonies, I also noticed that many of the men deserved honorable mention because they looked darn good. I always say that it’s easier for men to dress well because they have less options than women and so there’s less room for failure. Now – saying that – many men still look like slobs with their untucked shirts (a whole blog entry unto itself!) and lack of originality. Well – last week – a few men got it right (looked stylish and polished) while making a statement to boot!

Here are a couple of the winners in my humble opinion… Now I must admit that the guys in these photos are both stylists (one hair and one wardrobe) but it’s still proof that it’s POSSIBLE for men to look good without trying very hard.


On David Bui, a fitted jacket over a print shirt and (although it doesn’t show in the photo) cargo pants to keep the outfit “artistic casual.” On Lorence Manansala, a teal turtleneck under a black jacket and vintage Fred Segal tapered pants that say “FUCK” all over them. Now that’s what I call a statement piece! In both cases, the men were wearing a shirt, pants and a jacket – but the difference was WHICH shirt, pants and jacket to make them stand out in a crowd. On Bui, it was the print shirt and on Lorence it was the pop of color in the shirt and most definitely the fantastically unique pants. I hear over and over from clients that they want to be comfortable and they think they need to wear sweatpants in order to achieve that. Not true. What is blatantly apparent in these photos is how comfortable and confident both men are. Good job guys.

I also saw many men in well fitted suits that looked great, so it’s not just about bold designer pieces. Often fit is the winning element and it doesn’t get simpler than that: Fitted clothes are almost always more flattering. Any questions?